1. to my three sons 

To my three sons,
　Taira asked me where we are going when we die. He was six years old then. He seemed to be scared of death. He doesn't bring it up these days, but it may stay deep in his mind. In my old diary I happened to find Kentaro, now 19, had asked the same question when he was at around Taira's age.

　I have not answered your questions yet. Some people say we will be stars in the sky. Some say we will go to heavn. I went to a Christian church in my twenties. I believed that I would be accepted by God in heaven. To see you again in heaven, to be a twinkling star in the sky, these are beautiful thoughts, but I don't believe either of them any more.

　There may be a place like heaven. I don't know. Nobody knows. Only God does. For us human beings, it is a question of belief. Some believe, others don't.

　Still, I do believe that the memories of your father will stay with you, stay in some part of your brain. Likewise, the memories of you will stay with your children. If you have a good father, you will keep good memories of him somewhere in you. Life is a series of ups and downs. These good memories will work on your behalf when you are in trouble.

　If you have stored lots of good memories in your life, you will be able to overcome any difficulty you may have to go through. Through these experiences and with those good memories, you will be able to help your children grow into the best they can be. They will do the same thing for their children. This way, memories, good or bad, will be passed along from generation to generation.

　I will live with you in your memory. If you happen to become a bad person, the memory of your father will give you a warning. You will notice it when you feel uneasy with what you are doing. If you do a good thing or if you are kind to others as your father was to you, you will feel good. Your father, somewhere in you, will be pleased as well.

　Where are we going when we die? I believe we will go back to the earth but I will live with you, rain or shine, somewhere in you.

 

Lullaby of Itsuki, story of poor babysitter girls

　Not so long time ago, Japan was still very poor. When it rained little for many days, farmers failed to grow rice and other crops. People died of hunger without anything to eat. Some people had to take their old parents to the mountains to leave them there. Those old parents stayed there till they died. Other people had to kill some of their babies when they were born because they knew they couldn't feed them.

　Brokers came to poor farmers in a village and asked them to sell their daughters. Some parents were too poor to provide them with enough food. They told their young daughters to leave home. They said if they left home with the brokers, they would be able to wear beautiful clothes in a big city. This was not true, but daughters knew they had to do so for their parents and for their younger brothers.

　Itsuki Village, Kumamoto Prefecture, Kyushu, was one of such poor villages. It was in the deep mountains and crops did not grow well. Many girls left the village to nearby Hitoyoshi, a big city, where many rich families lived. Many of those rich people were busy merchants. They had little time to take care of their young children. From Itsuki Village, many girls, still ten years old or so, were taken to those families as babysitters.
　As babysitters, they were not served good meals. They were not given money for their work. The money was already paid to their parents and they were not allowed to go back again to their hometown till their term of service came to an end.

　There were some families in the city who were kind to those babysitters. Most of the families, however, were not that way. The babysitter girls missed their parents and brothers. They shed tears when they were alone. They cried on sleepless nights. When the babies did not stop crying, girls wanted to cry themselves.

　Soon they began to sing songs called lullabies instead of just keep crying. Lullabies were supposed to be the song to make babies sleep. For example one of the most famous lullabies in Japan goes like this;
　　Sleep, sleep, and sleep
　　Oh, cute baby boy
　　Sleep well
　　Good boy you are

　But their lullabies were not that way. Their songs were created and sung to escape from their difficult work. Lullaby of Itsuki, perhaps the most famous song of this kind begins like this:

　　My work will be only till Bon holidays,
　　After that,
　　I won't be there as babysitter,
　　If Bon came faster,
　　I could go to my parents and brothers sooner.

　It is said that there were many girls who could not return to their homes even after the term of their service ended. In many cases, their parents received additional money from the brokers.

　Lullaby of Itsuki has many different versions and we can learn from those songs what those girls thought of their work and themselves.

　　There is nothing we can do
　　For the babies
　　Who don't stop crying,
　　Instead we will be scolded by our masters
　　For our poor work

　You will see how difficult it was to make the babies fall asleep.

　　Far away from home,
　　Working as a babysitter,
　　Nobody will shed tears for me
　　Even if I die

　Do you think they really wanted someone to cry for them? Do you think they wanted to die far away from home? Of course not. They wanted to go back to see their father and mother but they knew they might not make it. It may be that they wanted someone to share their sorrow with them. Those dark days are now things in the past. Japan is now said to be the second richest country in the world and few people live as those babysitters in Itsuki Village did. Perhaps what we could do for them may be to remember them by singing their song of heart. "Far away from home", but there is no more home in the Itsuki Village they knew. The old Itsuki Village was under the water when a dam was built over it about ten years ago.